For all the bands closely intimate to my beautifully toxic heart. I love gorgeous voices singing about horrible things.
For we humans tend to gamble with people’s feelings and barter people’s hearts the same way the devil does with human souls. At least the latter is a Faustian bargain, and we know the enemy well. Will we end up like those perverted bastards from Sodom and Gomorrah, who had the gall to try and rape even God’s angels?
Love brings grave danger.
A devastating trend is sweeping our culture, and it comes from many fronts. We have become influenced by the Machiavellian prose dominating music, believing that the key to salvation is written on the dollar. The dollar, naturally, is to be mined from an ore of hopelessly infatuated people – typically of the opposite gender. Much can also be made from untapped reserves of broken hearts seeking power and vengeance. Preach and exude an aura of love, but do not allow it to touch you, and you profit.
J Cole muses about this in a verse in Cold Blood.
In God we trust but it’s bucks that we worship now
Love has become an enterprise of power and influence to gain profit from, and then liquidated. My heart will not break without me getting as much as I can out of it. Like the rest of the media we greedily consume, the music industry is a notorious culprit. It packages alluring voices, sweet faces, charming personas, and melodies into a lovely baguette ready to be munched at your fingertips. Only to have these beautiful voices sing about horrible things. All for profit.
The idea that love is pure and innocent has become naïve. The idea where men just need to be persistent and romantically persuasive get together with her has become an affront to modern feminism. The music industry embraces these ideas and creates a whole new enterprise out of them. Love is marketed to our poor listeners with a daunting mix of sadness, anger, and bitterness. It will make us lost and alone, for betrayal is a timeless human trait. Better to make money out of it.
50 Cent and Chris Brown explain the true enterprise of love in No Romeo No Juliet.
He think he fuckin’ my bitch, nigga that bitch for rent
He know how to treat a hoe, I mean all that money spent
She say you a sweetheart, a sweetheart
Things tend to go a little different ’round here, we pimpin’ nigga!
They literally sold the allure of betrayal to a fool willing to part with their money.
As the singer muses about bittersweet memories or desires for revenge, what is broken and bleeding is portrayed as a beautiful tragedy. Then, as ironic as it is poignant, we are rallied by activists who compose or refer to musical poetry calling us to “heal” this “broken world”, with their own version of how we should love.
Kanye’s verse in No Church In The Wild exemplifies this.
We formed a new religion
No sins as long as there’s permission’
And deception is the only felony
So never fuck nobody without telling me
These will eventually do one of two things – draw us into a vortex of apathy and sociopathy, as we become desensitized to violence and numb to pain. Or turn us into sadomasochists who crave pain and abuse, on others or ourselves. We have already come to adore the sociopathic woman, after all.
A mix of fear, affection, and love for the pretty little psycho who breaks hearts.
Love is but a symbolic tool, a consistent message used as integrated marketing communications to brand someone as virtuous, as an active participant in some righteous movement. Over time, after having suppressed their feelings under the guise of stoicism and emotional intelligence, they will forget what love feels like – until they witness heartbreak from others or a sonata evokes an old memory.
Then, just like old times, they go crazy.
Music beautifully articulates these conflicts, bringing out emotions that have been bottled up in the abscess of our hearts, making us despair and despise humanity. Curiously, like Pandora’s Box, a glimmer of hope appears. Music is not the only outlet. There are also countless reinforcements coming from literary art and video games – from poetry like in Lang Leav’s Memories to the depressing, loveless story in NieR: Automata.
In all cases, love has become a force that can only leave destruction in its wake.
At the core of this conflict is romantic love, fuelled by raw passion and infatuation. The flowery Romanticism of the 18th century has grown thorns in this era. Allowing individuals to stand out as idols, they are to be loved by many yet unreachable by any.
This is achieved by the artist’s own prodigious skill and hard work, but also by PR campaigns tailored to make the artist’s grace look effortless yet endearing, a culmination of grit and passion. To use two different Greek words for love, it is essentially a marriage between Eros and Agape. A fandom is held together by the volatile strings of hopeless love and adoration.
Even you must belong in a fandom of some kind.
As Homo Sapiens evolve into Homo Deus, we continue foolishly to pretend we have constructed the perfect way to control our emotions – when a single moment of infatuation is all is needed to have that all crumble apart.
Even loving yourself leaves destruction in its wake.
The process of loving oneself is treasured and loving others first is a foolish act. Loving only yourself is already an odd paradox. It’s like saying a tree should only bear fruit for itself. Love given to someone has always been gently plucked from somewhere. In loving yourself, and preaching about it, you cling onto the words of others – inflating your love for their wisdom, for them, and thus yourself.
Cults form around geniuses, like Mozart or Einstein, believing they too can reach the intelligent cosmos from within their enclave. Cults form around Plato and Marcus Aurelius, believing they finally found someone to relate to; some thinker from the ancient world whose lives they know nothing about. They peddle that effort and passion are key as opposed to just talent or genetics, using Darwin as an example. So, they try their best to emulate the lives and habits of who they admire.
At the cost of others, then themselves.
Dangerous ideologies such as #nosleep have become a romantic ideal, proudly adorned on a young person’s social media bio like an Olympic medal. They will also share their hero’s old quotes and retweet five times a day. Blinded by love, people will not take criticism of their work ethic, inspired by an intense desire to reach their idol, lightly.
In a show of grandiosity, they will put others down, belittle their work, call out a hypocrisy from five years ago and argue to look smart or tell people to fuck off. On the Internet, Twitter exchanges are a prominent example.
Love is love is love is love. This is the new face of Narcissus.
Despite Rousseau’s warnings, your Amour de soi has become amour-propre, tainted by the wish to be right and self-preservation.
If you ask a lady if it hurt when she fell from heaven, she will reply that she dug up her way from hell. The princess is encouraged to save herself this time. Bearing the sigma of an independent woman, she shuns help from men, determined to solve her own problems. The good girl and the bad bitch are now the same person. The wolf was never the actual villain in Red Riding Hood.
These traits draw people toward them, intrigued by the individualistic passion.
These are the new narratives for the modern female.
And these, are sexy and romantic. This is love.
In the name of stoicism, “calm” observers from “outside” begin to dish out their supposedly sage advice. The Marcus Aurelius commentaries, passionately recited by a growing cult of Stoics, become the lifebuoy they cling onto desperately so that they don’t drown in the toxicity afforded by love’s affairs.
If someone asks you how to write your name, would you bark out each letter? And if they get angry, would you then return the anger? Wouldn’t you rather gently spell out each letter for them?
– Marcus Aurelius, A Boring Book, 6.26
This is all folderol. None of these fools can escape love.
Nothing spells out true disapproval like anger.
A horde of angry people got Rick Ross dropped from Reebok as an ambassador when he glorified date rape in U.N.E.N.O. Angry and worried people got Eminem’s shockingly violent and misogynistic Stan music video to be taken off MTV and Fuse. Angry people of faith got the Vatican and Pepsi to condemn Madonna’s controversial Like A Prayer with all its twisted imagery. Anger always leads to censure. Ironically, anger also led to these videos.
Trust me, you’re not going to be fucking stoic when you walk into your partner sleeping with a forbidden lover. If you actually did that, then the person never meant much to you in the first place. There is conflict everywhere, between people, within ourselves and in relationships.
If you are human, you can never be truly unperturbed – this is just an attitude you train yourself to put up. As romantic as it sounds to see the man seething with raw, undiluted anger holding himself back, this wrath will find itself back onto the surface eventually, in one of the vilest forms you can ever witness – treachery.
Love has always been the root of betrayal.
Drunk in love with his new freedom, Icarus flew too close to the sun. Loving her work more than anything else and proud of her prodigious weaving skills, Arachne didn’t even care that she got turned into a spider for eternity. Adam disobeyed God only because he loved Eve, not because he wanted to be defiant. And even after he was exiled from Eden, Eve was still all he could think about, and was the source of his joy and his agony.
Sting and Cheb Mami captured Adam’s heart perfectly in Desert Rose.
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this
Sweet desert rose
This memory of Eden haunts us all
This desert flower, this rare perfume
Is the sweet intoxication of the fall
All because of love.
Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
– Charles Bukowski
This love has been bleeding onto personal relationships.
Nothing escapes the vices of romantic love. Dangerous desires infatuate us all the time, and even the loyal ones must deal with the unrelenting barrage of media outlets showing us how exciting and romantic betrayal is and to give in to temptation to love what is forbidden.
Carly Rae Jepsen spells out that feeling on This Kiss:
And your eyes are lock and key, to my heart
Tempting my confession (my confession)
And you’re a real hot thing
But you know I’ve got a boy somewhere
Even marriage, a bond that is both legal and sacred, not to mention expensive, cannot enforce loyalty. According to research data by the Institute for Family Studies in America in 2016, the cheating gets more common as the couples get older, dipping only at the elderly ages of 60 and above. For the women at least. There comes an odd sense of dread knowing it may even happen to you, or me, tomorrow. We will then become a statistic too.
A toxic relationship has always grown out of fear and hopeless love.
In an entire world full of music, you have your examples.
A million over songs have been composed over the pitiful lives of people with broken hearts. Music lays bare everything people have ever felt being in toxic relationships. The broken yet melodious voices are a gift of mercy, giving people a place to fucking curl up to and cry, to look for more beautiful things, to have fantasies of revenge, to pour out all the regrets in one big catharsis. For shared sorrow is half a sorrow, and shared joy is double joy, it is said.
Then they look for it again. Fucking fools (????)? ?
There has never been a musician that has never composed about love. Those who think they haven’t, they’re only deluding themselves. Even if it’s in a different language, a bittersweet love song makes itself obvious in many ways. From the raw emotion in the singer’s voice to the melody, love always comes to the surface – even if it is broken. It never ends. As long as we humans exist, these songs will continue to be played, and more of this pitiful music will spring from the broken pieces of men and women’s hearts.
If you’re in a happy and healthy loving relationship, full of compassion, open communication, and mutual understanding, firstly, why the fuck is you even here congratulations, and secondly do not continue to read if you value your kindness.
There will be no Romeo and no Juliet this Valentine’s Day.
Inspired by the world’s loveliest melodies dipped in poisonous hooks with a taste full of bliss, lyrics with abscess hate and envy coated in honey, presented in a set of laws because it is such an absolute word, 36 because there are nine letters in toxic love, coupled with gross exaggerations on song meanings…
…this is Musiceon’s amoral edict on this toxic game called love.
I hope you enjoy it as it kills everything you love.
If you value pure love and kindness, do not continue.
This is your final warning.
Act I – Courtship
Courtship is one of the most interesting rituals ever adopted by humanity, and even by other species. Driven by infatuation, he does everything in his power to inflate his worth and mould himself into the image of an ideal lover in the hopes of getting her attention. However, attention has its price. From the mating ritual of the black widow, we can already draw wisdom from arachnids – something which artists did not miss.
Be careful what you wish for.
Most ladies actually show kindness from their heart, like Lee Hi in her music video for Rose. A woman will warn her suitors outright that the rose they want comes with thorns. If they want her love they must also bear her burden. It’s not quite Marilyn Monroe’s saying “if you don’t love me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best” because in her case the desire for someone to accept their odd quirks is flagrant.
Here, it is much more insidious – she has no flaws. Here, she literally tells you she’s an impossible woman, more trouble than she’s worth, without a single explanation. Yet somehow you already know. Being with her means a lifetime of suffering – just reaching out to her is suffering already, and she has no obligation to give you mutual love. But she knows that these fools will try and court her anyway, and she’s powerless to stop that all these men so determined to bleed and die in the red pool of their own stupidity.
This is Machiavelli’s rosy take on love and war, and how similar the soldier is to the lover:
Certainly, the man who said that the lover and soldier are alike told the truth. The general wants his soldiers to be young, women don’t want their loves to be old. It’s a repulsive thing to see and old man a soldier; it’s most repulsive to see him in love. Soldiers sleep on the ground out of doors, lovers on the wall edges. Soldiers pursue their enemies to death; lovers, their rivals.
Soldiers on the darkest nights in the dead of winter go through the mud, exposed to rain and wind, to carry out some undertaking that will bring them victory; lovers attempt in similar ways and with similar sufferings, and greater, to gain those they love. Equally in war and in love, secrecy is wanted, and fidelity and courage. The dangers are alike, and most often the results as well. The soldier dies in a ditch and the lover in despair.
From Clizia, Act 1, Scene 2
If you want a woman’s take, SVRCINA sings about the lover’s tragedy excruciatingly well in Meet Me on the Battlefield.
Meet me on the battlefield
Even on the darkest night
I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage
And you will be mine
Regardless of pop biology, the first sperm that reaches the egg cell does not fertilise it. The desperate fool will attempt to burrow itself into the egg cell until it gets abandoned by its own mitochondria and run out of the energy to even flip its own tail. It will then die. In its place, another sperm cell will seize the opportunity to finish the job. Everyone else will then die. There is no malice in all this opportunism. It simply is.
With humans, everything changes.
The soldier who went through hardships just to reach her might simply be swatted aside for someone else who just happened to be passing by.
Always try to be attractive, smile. The charm of an attractive smile cannot be measured in a metric, only captured as art. It is the most inviting gesture a person can give. Even the most intimidating face in the world only has to give a warm smile and the guarded anxiety from the other person drops in an instant.
Making yourself look attractive is, as the Arabs called it, sayf zou hadayn, or double-edged sword. On one hand, the person you want will probably look at you, but on the other hand, you’ll attract ten other losers who want you as well. At this moment of frustration, it might be easy to pull an attitude to repel them. However, that is far too kind.
In a classic twist of romantic love songs, Victoria Justice and Elizabeth Gillies angrily told boys to leave instead in Take A Hint.
Take a hint, take a hint
No you can’t buy me a drink, let me tell you what I think
I think you could use a mint
Mean, but kind. This is not recommended, however.
Think of them as objects that could be useful. Assess this person as they attempt to court you and try to determine if they have anything to offer. Everyone is useful in some way. Remember, you are not obligated to return anything for their affection. In this despicable game called love, you must maintain an aura that makes you charming yet intimidating, and subtly present an opening to allow this person to feel like they have a chance.
A person’s rightful due is to be treated as an object of love, not as an object for use.
– John Paul II
If they want to buy you lunch or breakfast every day, carry your bags, help to do the heavy lifting for your assignments, or leave chocolates at your doorstep, they’re still useful providers. Do not be overzealous in offending or pushing them away. Instead, make them feel like they’re your partner without actually letting that happen.
Elle King makes no promises when she sings I Told You I Was Mean.
You were a sweet old thing
And I was lonely, so I let you hold me for
A limited time only
You see, you’re nothing to me
And Drake felt how it was like to be used like an object in Connect.
Wish you would learn to love people and use things
And not the other way around
This partner is neither meant to complete nor complement you. They are not your equal. They are meant to help you achieve your goals or make your life easier, whether they’re aware of it or not. They could be your ATM, your emotional tampon, your cuddle toy or desktop trophy, your GPA ladder in school, your doormat at work, or whatever.
Be the muse they are looking for. Every single individual fantasizes for an attractive companion that fits some kind personality trait or shared interest. They long for someone who understands them. Everyone wants someone to take them away, to a place they both want. Indulge in this fantasy and give them what they want.
Yulia and Lena had a romantic escape together in Not Gonna Get Us.
My love for you, always forever
Just you and me, all else is nothing
Not going back, not going back there
They don’t understand,
They don’t understand us
This feeling of longing has been echoed in Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata for centuries.
Touch them. Touching is one of the most intimate forms of affection. Some might prefer you touch their hearts or minds before their bodies. So be it. If they love it, they will crave for more. One touch is all you need. One taste is all they need.
Look at this woman Britney Spears singing this famous melody in Toxic.
The taste of your lips
I’m on a ride
You’re toxic I’m slippin’ under
With a taste of a poison paradise
A sweet melody that has been sung by countless women across the decade, either to themselves or in new music covers. A melody that will be sung, again, in the future. A classic melody that stirs longing in a woman’s heart.
Look at this other woman Sia being held Hostage by touch.
It all begins with just one kiss
I’m held hostage by your love
Put me in cuffs, lock me up
I’m held hostage by your touch
Touch is something that is always craved.
Pretend to care about them. Pose as a friend, act like a potential lover. Draw out their vulnerable side. Make them feel safe and comfortable enough around you that they open up and share their quirky habits or secrets, they would not share with others. Promise that it will only be between the two of you.
As they let their guard down, they open up all they ways they could be exploited.
Act II – Power
Boredom hits a person hard when an intense period of war ends. The most harmless example is the feeling of emptiness that hits you right after you’re done binge watching a series or reading an epic novel. Novelists and film writers rouse conflict in any of the stories they spin as a fundamental rule, because conflict drives the plot. Even documentaries telling real stories can have this effect. To take a beautiful, delicate thing like love, and then rip it apart. This is what makes a story, and life in itself, crudely exciting.
This need for excitement, naturally, bleeds unto our personal relationships.
There is no hope for fools who choose to love. To love is to suffer, sometimes for nothing. After the tragedy, individuals left with broken hearts will want to wrestle control of their lives once more. Some do it in a healthy manner. Others don’t. Desperate for validation and haunted by bittersweet memories, they actively seek out people who they know don’t care about them, looking for more pain. Why they do this, is because they’re still in denial about their emotional pain.
They don’t want to admit, not even to themselves, that it was painful. In a grand show of machismo, they want to overcome the pain of having daggers in their hearts, by having more daggers forced into their hearts. In fact, they get high off of the toxicity. They take pleasure from this pain.
In the end, this is about power and control.
Lzzy Hale cries out in I Miss The Misery:
I miss the bad things,
The way you hate me,
I miss the screaming,
The way that you blame me!
Rena Lovelis takes it a step further in Break My Heart.
Tell me you’ve never loved me
Tell me that it wasn’t real
Just say you’ve found somebody else
I wanna know the way it feels
In Rena’s case, in a happy and loving relationship, in the name of fucking curiosity she literally wishes for her lover to break her heart just to see if she could take it.
What doesn’t kill you doesn’t make your stronger. It simply comes back to finish the job.
And you like that. I pity you.
Always use a commanding tone. By giving commands you free the other person from the burden of autonomy. They don’t get a say. They simply have to obey. And that is exactly what they should do.
Sia Furler croaks sweetly about being forced shut in Bird Set Free.
Had a voice, had a voice but I could not talk
You held me down
I struggle to fly now, oh
Exude extreme jealously. To test someone’s love for you, evoking their jealousy has always been a timeless strategy. It signals the fear of losing a loved one, to have them beyond reach. Jealousy is a form of affection, connecting individuals together with the fragile strings of betrayal and heartbreak.
Do not forgive. Do not forget. Keep a mental score of offences your partner has made, and always use their past wrongdoings to justify your current actions.
Exude extreme insecurity. Always demand validation. Act in a way that would make even a spoilt brat look well-mannered. It should never be enough for you.
Lena cries out like a little child in t.A.T.u’s All The Things She Said:
All the things she said
Running through my head
This is not enough!
Play the hinting game. Do not openly communicate what is wrong but make it very obvious that something is wrong. Be passive aggressive. Make them feel that they are the one guilty of the wrong thing which they’re not even aware of, which may not even exist. If they did nothing wrong, fabricate a wrongdoing.
Cultivate an explosive temper or highly intimidating aura. Fear keeps them from entertaining rebellious thoughts.
ISA sings dangerously about her temper in Bomb:
If you cut the wrong wire
I set off tonight
I set an explosion if you don’t work me right
Better get out, before I explode in your face!
Backstab then play the victim. The idea is not to actively hide or make secret your sins that could possibly threaten the relationship, you know like cheating. It is to let them discover it, yet still be able to turn the situation to your advantage.
Digital Daggers unabashedly admits their Bad Intentions:
I thought I was the victim
I played it well
Sifted through the wreckage
Couldn’t find myself
Here, for example, you can make a great show of promising to mend things. Without actually doing it.
Create the genuine fear of potentially losing you. Use their feeling of how lucky they are to have you, how bad they would be without you, or of having a partner at all in the first place.
In their sweetly toxic Potential Breakup Song Aly & AJ really drilled in that fear.
‘Cause without me, you know you’re lost
Wise up now or pay the cost
Create an entrapment. You must make it look like there is no way out. When they attempt to leave, force them to stay. An emotional hook typically works.
Lauryn Hill sings about how her lover tries to make her stay in Ex Factor.
And when I try to walk away
You’d hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy, this is crazy (This is crazy, uh-huh!)
Lie consistently. It would be most ideal, and amusing, if you could make it such that they’re not even sure what’s real or not anymore and just surrender to you as the only source of truth. It’s like creating a cult.
Skyla Grey captures a lover hooked in like a cult follower perfectly in Kill For You.
In my eyes
Even if you are wrong, you are right
Even if there is a terrible crime
It’s alright, ’cause I got your back, and I know you got mine
I belong to the church of your name
Create false hope for a happy ending. Despite realizing the relationship is toxic and having a million reasons to leave, some of them cling onto it because they believe. They want to have something to hope for. How foolish.
Lady Gaga muses about this in her Million Reasons.
I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, I just need one good one to stay
Tinashe wishes she could put out the Fires and Flames of a toxic relationship.
Fires and flames are in your eyes and
I wish that I could put you out and
Cool you while you stay the night
Cut them off from any potential support network. Friends and family are potent sources of influence, and they could be a real threat to the power base you have built up in the relationship. Feeling lonely in a relationship is one of the worst things that could happen to a person.
Involve them in unethical deeds. Convince them that this is simply some kind of romantic trial to make them more confident and daring. After all, love involves sacrifice.
In Going Under, Amy Lee divulges her misdeeds made in the name of love.
Now I will tell you what I’ve done for you
Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won’t hear me
They will come to accept behaviours that are unacceptable.
Archive the dirty laundry of your partner. You should approach a relationship fully expecting a knife your back. As such, on top of emotional blackmail you need to be able to set up actual blackmail.
Be extremely critical and judgemental. Be consistent in picking on flaws and mistakes. Deliver them in a cruel and sarcastic tone, full of contempt. To someone blinded by love, they will still justify for you.
Do not accept blame. It must always be reserved for them. Accepting blame forces you to admit to your mistakes and is basically an act of compromise. This will cause your power base to crumble almost instantly.
John Legend opens up a love hate relationship in Blame Game.
Let’s play the blame game, I love you, more
Let’s play the blame game for sure
Let’s call out names, names, I hate you, more
Do not allow them any time for themselves. Their thoughts should be preoccupied with you. The more time you allow them to reflect on themselves the more likely they will start to question the relationship. They should give up on opportunities that would make their lives more fulfilling, simply to keep you happy.
Keep them blinded by love so that they don’t realise they may be better off without you.
Be coercive when it comes to sex. Give in to their consent and you let the power dynamic slip in an instant. Remember each person has the freedom to choose how they fulfill their sexual desire. Make them understand that your pleasure comes first, because love demands sacrifice. This is how they prove their love to you. Stress to them that if they’re not willing to get uncomfortable here for your pleasure, they won’t get uncomfortable for you ever.
Act III – Economics of Love
It is an incredibly sad irony that a lot of women have made career success in music by liquidating their broken hearts. It’s poignant that a lot of women’s movements gave power and influence to female individuals by milking their oppressed souls from the past. You would think that with the countless repertoire of songs about love and betrayal, singers like Taylor Swift and Rihanna that have built their entire brand out of toxic relationships, we would all have the wisdom to prevent future heartbreak.
That is simply not possible.
Preventing heartbreak is not what these songs were composed for. They were written because of heartbreak. They are like a remedy, though not the cure. This is why such songs are able to strike a chord within us. Like a gift from heaven, the raw emotions of the singer’s voice and melody become evidence that someone out there understands our suffering in ways even our social circles might not.
When musicians suffer broken hearts, they don’t simply vomit out their feelings. They paint their agony on the deafening silence, turning them to works of art, in the hopes that their voices and instruments reaches out to us.
Love is a history that repeats itself.
Create a beautiful memory for them to cling to. Find out what they desire and be the only person who can give them the experience satisfyingly. This is crucial in turning them into devout followers, letting them go insane, crying as they scramble for the bits of pleasant memories from the past to hold onto as they’re forced to live with the unhealthy present forced upon them.
Lovers intensely focus on the beloved, often to the exclusion of all around them. Indeed, they concentrate so relentlessly on the positive qualities of the adored one that they easily overlook his or her negative traits; they even dote on specific events and objects shared with this sweetheart.
– Helen Fisher, Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
Dismiss their emotions. Shared sorrow is half a sorrow. You do not want to bear that burden. There are always superficial distractions you can use to turn their attention away from the emotional burden they are trying to unload on you.
Be bad like Hayley and feign Ignorance.
Don’t wanna hear your sad songs
I don’t wanna feel your pain
When you swear it’s all my fault
Be the only source from where they draw their self-worth. Guilt tripping is great way to keep yourself in a position of power in this relationship. Do not allow your “partner” figure their self-worth by themselves. People have an innate desire to feel they are worth something to someone. Their own standards for themselves must never exist – only you should be allowed to set them.
Never treat them like an equal. A fair share of chores or footing half the bill on your end puts you as an equal partner. This greatly alleviates toxicity in the relationship, because you are building mutual respect. You are supposed to be above them – or rather, they are supposed to be beneath you.
Do not keep your promises. From the cesspool where promises are broken, and hearts are sliced open from disappointment, if they keep bleeding love instead of entertaining thoughts of leaving, you can yet keep them under your thumb.
Ghost them at your whim. Watch the amount of time you spend with them, because there is always the danger that you may develop actual feelings for them. Treat attention as a reward to be earned, even then only at your convenience.
Lorde even made a sweet little anthem called Loveless for this kind of game.
Bet you wanna rip my heart out
Bet you wanna skip my calls now
Well guess why? I like that
‘Cause I kinda miss your life fucked
Act IV – Revenge
Revenge is one of the coldest acts a person can commit. It happens because we’re chained to feelings from the past, refusing to accept a deeply personal tragedy that left us powerless, betrayed and utterly devastated. It’s not a form of justice. Neither does it allow the victim to heal. We simply want the perpetrator to feel the pain that we did, in one swift moment of agony that leaves them paralysed for the rest of their lives.
Everything about revenge is discreet. In a world that preaches emotional intelligence and enforces civility, such a passionately barbaric act would have to behave like a snake in the grass, waiting for the opportune moment to strike. It begins with a confession, as the person begins cursing the toxicity of the relationship she was in. It is played out in the head as a fantasy, then circumstances present an opportunity for diabolical ideas, then an actual strategy is formed.
From her aptly named Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel, Mariah Carey muses in H.A.T.E.U.
I can’t wait to hate you
Make you pain like I do
I can’t wait to face you
Break you down so low there’s no place left to go
Music lays bare repressed emotion and desires for revenge in ways they’ll never divulge otherwise. I can hardly count the number of female musicians that have left a trail of destruction in the wake of their petty revenge. Horrifying acts of misandry or misogyny always find themselves back to a desire for revenge. Oh, how beautifully satisfying it would be to be able to exact violent revenge without any consequences.
Give them a PR crisis. In the wake of #MeToo it has become stupidly easy to make a scoundrel out of a man and tarnish his reputation. As usual, music provides a Pinterest of deliciously vile inspiration.
Of course, Tarana Burke and a lot of good people will not appreciate toxic people hijacking the movement she nurtured with good intentions. But is not about the good of society. This is about your revenge. Vitriol is the only currency here.
Hopsin reveals the true intent of female Instagram models as he spits these satisfyingly juicy, bitter lines in False Advertisement.
You made a hustle off of guys who are horny
Gucci purses, vacations in Fiji
Trynna date you is easy
They just slide you some cash you just lay on the wee wee
What the fuck do you stand for?
Everyday you actin’ like a damn whore
Wish death upon them. Thousands of songs have spelled a universal hateful desire to hex traitorous lovers, wish them ill, personally kill them or proclaim their death. What cannot be acted upon become a reality in this guilty little space. Those who try to shame themselves into thinking it’s bad or that they shouldn’t wish for tragedy to befall someone they hate only make their feeling more intense.
Vent it out. There’s always a song whispering what you really want to hear even though you tell yourself you shouldn’t be enjoying it. I won’t tell you to find it. You must have one already.
Hate and belittle them. This is a classic way of exacting revenge, and often the most satisfying. It is also, without doubt, the pettiest. Best executed after you’re successful and financially independent, from the comfort of your new couch you can sit back and pick out your former abuser’s pitiful life.
Taylor Swift gives one example of such pettiness as she sings Mean.
And I can see you years from now in a bar
Talking over a football game
With that same big loud opinion
But nobody’s listening, washed up and ranting
About the same old bitter things
Give only coldness to them. Naturally, a fine way to do that will be to block them out. There will come a time when your former lover will attempt to beg you to accept them back. They will speak to you with a language that forces you to muse through the beautiful memories you’ve shared together. They will express a heartfelt desire to have the blissful relationship you so desired.
This is all pretence. Remember, this time the one in a position of power here is you. Don’t let sweet talk soften your heart. Words are easy to make but old habits die hard. It’s not you they want you fucking dumbass, but your obedience. Like a puppy coming back to its master, you’ll be put back on the leash you worked so hard for months to break free from. Don’t subject yourself to such cruelty, please.
Let them Cry Me A River like Justin Timberlake gleefully sings.
Girl I refuse
You must have me confused with some other guy
The bridges were burned
Now it’s your turn, to cry
And be adamant in moving away from them, like Christina Perri resolutely sings in Jar Of Hearts.
I know I can’t take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that’s waiting is regret
Don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all
Incite great jealously. It is crucial that you thoroughly publicize the joy, the excitement, and the raw pleasure in going out and making out with a new lover. It is especially important that this lover appears to be flawless, in every department, most particularly looks.
Let them feel the pain Labrinth sings about in Jealous.
I always thought you’d come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It’s hard for me to say, I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me
Let them turn into the unfortunate Hater Miranda Brooke sings about in first person.
Now she gets the best of you
While the rest of you
Is left back with me
She gets the good guy
I got the player
Keep your bad intentions secret. Reveal yourself only when it’s time to strike.
Digital Daggers are stealthy with their intentions in The Devil Within:
I will keep quiet
You won’t even know I’m here
You won’t suspect a thing
You’ll never know what hit you
Won’t see me closing in
I’m gonna make you suffer
Break them completely. Your act of revenge, made in the name of love, can only be complete if you rob them completely of even the hope to have genuine love. If they resort to absolute misogyny or misandry when simply addressing the opposite gender, caved inside a gross red pill ideology or militant feminism, you will have achieved this sweet revenge.
The Lonely and The Loveless
Afraid of being seen as lonely and loveless, we desperately cling onto any kind of love, even though it causes our lives to slowly deteriorate. We laugh at the poor soul who is unlucky to even get love, while our relationship is causing us to cry ourselves to sleep every night. Hoping that things will get better, or thinking we have the power to change things, we hem ourselves inside a rotten relationship – looking to let the dark clouds pass or looking to fix it. Under the guise of pretty Instagram photos, we make it look like we’re living a happy life together, while in reality suffering from each other.
But such feelings always bleed somewhere.
They might bleed onto a thread of cryptic tweets. They might come out in a blog diary in the corner of the Internet nobody cares about. They might come out in playing songs about broken love. They will always bleed somewhere on the Internet, as they realise how lonely they have become in the relationship. As time passes, their posts become more intense, and they won’t even hide their desperation anymore.
The lonely person suffers from being lonely and having nobody to hold them. The person in a toxic relationship suffers from being lonely and having nobody to hold them. For both of them, their hearts are fated to die a slow, painful death.
And when they do, institutes doing research on love will be most keen to include them in their statistic. Journalists would love to get a scoop for their story. Artists would also be very interested in using their sad story to compose and exciting new bad love song. The person in question, however, will simply be given a small space to drown in the background, and then promptly forgotten. The farm isn’t going to plough itself, after all.
Like many others before them, their broken hearts will be liquidated.
We might be inclined to blame music for instilling such a bleak view of our loveless lives. However, the lives of toxic people have always been loveless.
These are not laws you need to memorise. Your bleeding heart will always remember them.
Here is a playlist from Musiceon for lovely tragic songs. I know you crave music right now.
You are only as loveless as you want to be, fools.
Fira’s note: This is just a story, so chill and tell me if you enjoyed it. (????)
Well, not really haha.